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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome several hardships, which I admire. However, she's constantly blindsided by others. Her partner left her, and it was a huge shock. A lot of her social circle disappeared then, since they had been drawn to her husband. She was stunned by her. She made more effort in our friendship, likely realised more clearly what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

Over the years, several close to her have drifted apart without her being certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she was very skilled at her work, she departed without knowing why things shifted.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both left the workforce so we're spending frequent meetups, but I am finding my position in our friendship feels one-sided. I start discussion points and she changes conversation onto what interests her. In terms of politics, she holds firm beliefs. I attempt to recommend factchecking and different perspectives.

She is arranging a holiday to a nation I've visited many times even called home for some time. My intention was to share insights, however, my input not welcomed. She purely solely sought my agreement with her decisions. I've just come back from 30 days there and she wants to catch up, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to be a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is pulling back. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, yet this is not often a smooth outcome that we desire. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of resolution demands strength and readiness on both your parts.

Experts suggest using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens when you talk. It should be objective and clear and basically an unbiased account. Next is to tell her how it leaves you feeling. This allows for no dispute on this point. Your feelings belong to you, naturally. Step three is to question how the two of you going to change the pattern between you."

Keep in mind she too holds perspectives, so you need to stay open to listen to her. One effective method is to say to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to not say anything for 30 minutes."

This can be successful to encourage understanding.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject your concerns, for those who have a self-protecting mindset: they have a narrative regarding their experiences they cannot release since their identity relies on it and it represents they trust. This poses a challenge because there's no clear path in such cases, mere obstacles. However, she might at first react defensively and then think on your words. If you never reach an agreement, it provides satisfaction that you've been honest with her.